Sick From Your Environment

Does your environment make you sick? 

One thing that I've had for as long as I can remember, is what I thought was allergies or sensitivities to laundry soap. I can only use hypoallergenic, no perfumes or scents of any kind. I can't even go down the laundry soap aisle at the supermarket as it makes my nose burn. I actually hold my breath if I need to get something from that aisle, going as quick as I can down and out.

The more I research my illnesses, the more I learn about how things I lived with, thought were just 'normal' for me, have turned out to be related to my chronic illnesses.

As I referenced above, I've always had issues with scents. Last week I was at school, in the concourse, using one of the many tables with plugs for laptops and a girl asked if she could sit on the opposite side. I nodded and continued on my homework. Within two minutes, my nose started to burn. My eyes became itchy. Why? The girl across from me had bathed in so much perfume that even from 5 feet away, I was slowly dying in the stench. I thought schools were supposed to be scent free zones? Te;; that to all the girls in my school who insist on wearing so much perfume that everyone in the class can smell her.

Why am I writing about this?

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity and Fibromyalgia. 

What is Multiple Chemical Sensitivity? Basically, it means that a person has an unusually severe sensitivity or allergy-like reaction to many kinds of chemicals (pollutants, solvents) and perfumes, gas, smoke, chemicals in general and often encompass problems with regard to regular allergens such as pollen, house dust mites, pet fur and dander. Unlike true allergies, where the underlying cause is relatively well understood and widely accepted, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities have no known mechanism of causation and the processes are not fully understood. 

The problem with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is that each person is different from each other which means there is no prescribed treatment that works for all. Sound familiar? Yup, sounds just like fibromyalgia, no wonder they go hand and hand with each other. The only treatment that seems to work is just the complete avoidance of all of the pollutants. 

The results of having Multiple Chemical Sensitivity may mean that the pollutants may cause the following symptoms: burning, stinging eyes; wheezing, breathlessness; extreme fatigue; headaches or a migraine; a runny nose, cough, sore throat; sinuses; skin rashes or itchy skin; sensitivities to light and noise; sleeping problems, insomnia; digestive upset; muscle or joint pain; being irritable, snappish or agitated. 

Have you noticed Multiple Chemical Sensitivities? Comment below!

Today's Tip - Prepping Meals

As someone with multiple Chronic Illnesses, I often find it hard to cook. I may be too exhausted. I may be too dizzy. I may not feel hungry. I may be nauseous. No matter what the reason is, this can leave me without the ability to eat. Especially something nutritious. And even more so because I live alone.

I've come to a place where I try and make sure I have food available every day so that I get at least one good meal a day, even when I feel too sick to eat.

Eating healthy is really hard to do when you have no energy to take the extra time to prepare everything, but I can feel the difference between eating quality food versus eating quick to prepare, unnutritious, 'food'.

Instead, I've learned to take advantage of my good time, my full spoon days. I make large amounts of food when I have the energy to do so. Big batches of easily freezable meals or things that will keep in the fridge all week.

This is the only way that I can get the proper nutrition on all days. Today I made a huge pasta salad, chalk full of veggies, chickpeas for protein and a light dill vinaigrette. This will last me for several days and I know I'm getting a good meal out of it.

Other days, I will make a large curry dish and portion it out for several more meals or a hearty soup. Depending on the season, the menu items change. In the winter, the curries and soups are fabulous, body warming and satisfying. Now that it is Spring, there are so much more fresh vegetables available so it's amazing the array of dishes that can be made. I do like making the salads around this time, they are refreshing, not too heavy and can be made with a vast array of fresh fruit and veggies.

Another thing that I really like to have this time of year, that can be very easy, are wraps (or bowls if you do not want a bread). The first day, I break up all my current ingredients for my wraps into portions. Everything is put into the fridge in the same area for easy grabbing. This way, when hungry, I only need to grab these preportioned packages and just have to put it together. All the prep has already been done.

What are some of your favourite preplanned meals? Comment below!

How Chronic Illness Makes Me a Liar

Afer being diagnosed with Fibro and RA, I have become a pathological liar. Sounds pretty harsh, admitting to constant lying, but it rings true to all those who suffer from such illnesses.

Since day one, I have downplayed my symptoms = liar. To protect myself and my friends, I never tell the truth about how bad my symptoms are from day to day. No one would want to stay friends with someone who only ever talks about the horrors of the constant life crushing pain I suffer from.

This is not meant to be a knock on my friends, I just know NO one wants to hear that. My friends are really supportive, and they try to understand the depth of what I go through, but unless you actually have a chronic illness, it's hard to really understand.

Every day I lie about how I truly feel. When someone asks me how I'm doing, there's an almost 100% chance I'm lying about it. I use vague language, "I'm OK", "Not bad" and "Good". I never say that I'm so exhausted that I was in bed until 4 pm and I STILL don't feel rested at all.

I also lie to myself constantly. I make plans with friends, thinking I'll be able to live my life the same way I did before being diagnosed. I can't though. Now, I  have to space out any plans - making sure I have time to rest between.

Sometimes I lie to myself about what I can do. Sure, I can go out for coffee with a friend on Friday and then do a more physical activity on Saturday. Coffee is a huge drain, right? Unless I can sleep the whole time between coffee and going out again, I am not able to do both. And who can actually get restful sleep for that whole time?

If there is something I really want to be able to do, I do nothing for days leading up to the event so I have enough spoons to get through.

This upcoming Sunday is a day-long fair that I will be attending with my bestfriend. In order to do this, I will be doing nothing both Friday and Saturday. Nothing at all. This is the only way I can have some kind of life outside my home.

So I admit it. I am a liar.

Healing Through Helping Others

Helping others through their struggles with illnesses has been a positive way for me to look at my own illnesses and tackle the hurdles I face.

During my early teens, when I first got hooked on using IRC for finding like minded individuals, I came across a guy who was local, was a musician and was currently battling testicular and stomach cancer. M.M. was in the hospital a lot, receiving chemotherapy and radiation. This all meant that M.M. could not do what he loved - play and watch live music.

I wondered how I could help him.  

After chatting with him for awhile, I knew what I could do for him. How I could help him feel better and encourage his recovery. Every single concert/show I went to, I would later explain in great detail what happened, what songs were played, any funny mishaps or notable things that might interest him. 

He relied on my experiences to help him feel better, to get through one more chemotherapy treatment, to just want to survive. And I was grateful that I could help him so much in such a painful time. It made me feel better about myself and my struggles at the time; it was important to get out to shows, I had to make M.M. feel better! It was a great motivation.

Years later, I ended up  having a cervical cancer scare. The first person I contacted was M.M. It was not his turn to help me. He took me to my appointments, made sure I was okay, he took care of me throughout all my testing. After going through a few procedures, I was happy to find out that I didn't have cancer. M.M. was there the whole time.

To this day, M.M. is someone I turn to in times of high stress and illness. Just as he still turns to me. 

This is part of the reason why I started this blog. It motivates me to do more when I know I can help others.

Things We Can't Control

I have suffered from insomnia, and now painsomnia, since I was about 10 or 11 years old. I can remember laying in bed, after my ex "evil" step-mother sent me to bed so early it was still light out, and listening to my Walkman and cursing this early bedtime. The only reason I had to go to bed so early was because my ex "evil" step-mother had a daughter three years younger than me and we shared a room and it was easier on her if we were both in bed at the same time.

It would take me hours to fall asleep. I don't know if I can blame the many years of this practice for my insomnia but it definitely followed me forever after.

When I was 12, I moved back in with my mum.  She did shift work which meant that I was often left alone over night. We lived in a one bedroom apartment so she got the bedroom and I had a hide-a-bed in the living room couch for my bed. This is when I discovered that I couldn't fall asleep early but the TV seems to lull me to sleep. I'd be up until 2AM without feeling tired at all. I'd lay down and put on the TV on some network that just did repeats of old shows so that they didn't hold my interest to easily. Sleep would come.

This bad habit has followed me into adulthood.

To this day, if my many sleep inducing medications are not working, I know I can go into the living room, turn the TV on to some boring show on Netflix and pass out on the couch. This does not yield actual good sleep though. It is tossing and turning and being woken up when Netflix asks the very annoying question, Are You Still There? Can this be turned off? Let me know if it can be! For 25 years I have been battling myself to sleep. I take so many sedating medication that my Doctor's are baffled how I get out of bed and actually function. 

The thing I can't control is my sleep. And my neighbours. Recently I got new neighbours above me (I live in a basement suite in a lovely house in a quiet neighbourhood). The previous people upstairs were the daughter and son-law of the home owner. The new "tenants" are the landlord's son and his girlfriend. Based on the behaviour of his daughter and son-in-law, I was a very happy tenant. They were very quiet, in bed by 10PM almost every night. Out doing things on the weekends. I could barely hear them walking across the floor and I rarely heard their TV, despite having their living room directly above mine.

  I had been spoiled.

And after a month of having no one else in the house besides myself, in moved the son and his girlfriend. Right from the first night I knew that my peaceful life was over. Every time anyone walks across the floor, it sounds like they are stomping or marching. They blast their TV so loud that I have to turn mine up to hear anything. 

Last night was by far the worst so far though. I am sick. I am exhausted. I am in pain. And sleep is NOT coming easily.

I settled into bed at about 10PM, knowing that I needed extra sleep because of being sick. My cold medication was working, I could breathe. I read until around 10:30PM. Then I snuggled myself down with my dog and attempted to sleep. I was starting to feel really comfy and cozy when around 11PM, my oh-so-lovely upstairs neighbours decided it was time to have company and play xBox. I am instantly wide awake. For two hours I listened to machine gun noises and two men hoot and holler over their game. I finally passed out around 2AM. I woke up around 5AM since my body hates me. I decided to just stay in bed and attempt to rest at least. At 6AM, the girlfriend came into the bedroom above mine, which is not actually in use by anyone, but apparently  is her shoe storage room. CLUNK, CLUNK, CLUNK as she pulls out several pairs of shoes and drops them on the floor. Exactly above my head. She finally decides on a pair of heels and then proceeds to run across the room in said heels. That was it. I was up. I could of slept for almost 2 more hours but no, it was all ruined.

These are things I cannot control.

Over-Doing Life

On Tuesday, May 9th, 2017, British Columbia had an Election for our provincial Premier position.

I had worked an Elections day prior, in 2011, I worked for Elections Canada as a voting clerk. I remember it as being a pretty long day but pretty easy.

Of course I had not been diagnosed with Fibro or Rheumatoid Arthritis yet.

Since I live on a very small fixed income from provincial disability (PWD) and whatever I get in scholarships/bursaries from school and the government, I'm always short on cash. There are times that I go without food to make sure I can get my dog her food. For the past two semesters, I have been selling things through Facebook auction sites in order to make rent or buy groceries. That is great but I'm running out of things to sell!

When I saw the Elections BC advertisement on my Facebook wall, I thought back to 2011 and how easy it was and how well it paid. It works out to $300. That is a HUGE help to someone in my situation.

So, I signed up, and was called into training the next day because I had prior experience and they decided that I should work at the busiest polling station in my district. That was a YAY!? - busy is good, it makes the day go by quickly. We are at the polling station from 7AM until all the vote counting is done and everyone's station balances, in this case, almost 10PM.

What did this seemingly easy but long day mean for me?

I actually got through the day rather easily. My partner was fantastic and we worked very well together. I brought a pillow to put on the hard plastic chair to cushion my achy bones, we were able to have an alternate take our place while we got a quick walk around the outside courtyard in the sun, despite being busy, we had several spurts of no voters. Everything was going great.

Then I got home and realized that I had to be back up at 7:30AM the next morning for class at 9:30AM. When I woke up, I could barely move. Everything hurt. Everywhere. I was starting a day with maybe two spoons. It took everything I had in me to get out of bed and make my way to school. I had to go. It was the first class. I hadn't been able to talk to my professor about all my disability issues. There was NO not going available.

What happened?

I barely made it through that three hour long class. Then I went and picked up my dog, headed home, collapsed on the couch and didn't eat. On  Thursday morning when I again got up at 7:30AM for my 9:30AM class, I realized that I wasn't just exhausted, I wasn't just in extreme pain - I was getting sick. Touching other people's ID and paperwork for 12 hours on Tuesday had hit me hard. Quickly, I succumbed to the dreaded cold/cough/plugged up nose and gave up. But first, I had to get through a night class on Thursday night.

I completely over-did life.

Now, a week later, I am still using cold medication. I can't get enough sleep. Despite being completely exhausted 24/7, I can't sleep. My sleep medications aren't working. This is a long weekend and I am hoping that I am able to get more than three hours of sleep at a time. 

When will I learn to remember about my lack of spoons?

Neglection

Sorry! I have had a hectic two weeks after returning to school for the Summer semester.

I have tried to lower my class load for this semester after having to drop a class last semester after becoming very overwhelmed with my courses and feeling like I was drowning.

I have only one more course that I must take in order to finish the "bridging course" that would make  my previous Associates of Arts in Psychology into an Associates of Arts in Criminology. This class, which I have been absolutely dreading due to my many anxiety issues, was offered this semester but only as an accelerated course. Instead of having to deal with it for a full semester, I decided I would conquer this class in a shorter period and lessen my anxiety. Yes, it is more intense as we meet twice a week for three hours each day, but in only 7 weeks, instead of 15, I will finish the course! 

Because I had issues last semester, I had only planned on taking two classes - which is considered full time for someone with disabilities, but I couldn't pass up completing this course quickly. When this particular course is done, I will be down to only 2 classes. I'm glad I made this decision as the course load for one of my other classes is very low so I believe I will be able to manage.

The classes I am taking now are third or fourth year classes so they require more attention then I estimated. I was out of university for five years and I have so many more disability issues this time around that I couldn't manage as well as I did before.

In the Fall semester, I will only be in two classes. That will be manageable. I do have to retake the dropped course in the Winter 2018 semester. 

That is my pain right now. I have utilized my spare time well though. On Thursday's I have a six hour break between classes and I have dedicated that time to doing my homework for my Monday night class and catching up on reading. I force myself to stay on campus and have only that to focus on. 

So far, so good.